Tonight I have this weird opportunity... its this thing called "no homework." It definitely comes in rare form, so I decided to take the opportunity to do what I love doing tonight - read. Perfect chance also, one of my mentors let me borrow a book today called "a city on our knees" By Toby Mac. It's a book filled with short stories on how teens and adults do simple, extraordinary things to make a huge impact. A quote from the book caught me off guard... it was one of those times where I knew I needed to hear that exact line. Funny stuff, right? The quote was, (I'm going to put my name in instead) "Lauren, this isn't you running from me. It's me leading you into a greater understanding of my heart."
As I process this summer, I'm challenged by what I want to do to make this world better than I came in it. Of course my passion for teaching in the inner-city is still there, but is there more? More than anything from this summer, I miss the 30 kids I worked, mentored, laughed and cried with. I do miss each child in particular, but most of all I miss working with at risk youth in general. I miss the love, atmosphere, break throughs and challenges.
To say it lightly, this isn't necessarily what my family wants for me. Of course "dangerous" comes to mind, and they try to convince me not to... and sometimes I buy into it. However how can I deny the passion of pursuing a greater understanding of His heart? While working with kids in the city, I would catch myself often praying "God, I just don't want to see this anymore. It's too much. Too broken." But time and time again I was reminded that God doesn't have a blind eye, He doesn't shove people into the margins.
I received an email a few days ago that I wasn't sure I was going to post. I reviewed it though and changed all the names of the people involved, and truly am showing it to you to open your eyes and possibly encourage you. This is an email I received from one of my boys at a homeless shelter that I worked with this summer. He is 13.
hey lauren, dont no if u remember me but this is joshua from chicago. well i guess u probly member me cause i was always be gettn in fights lolol. i asked fo ur email a long time ago but i nvr emailed u... not becase i didnt want 2 but bc u kno how hard it b to get priveges for the computer here. i just wanted to drop in nd say hiiii... o so do u member wen u furst started at bein our teacher? u came in tht day and onestly i just laughed. i was thinkin,... how long til dis 1 gives up? i laughed for about a wek til i realized tht u might actually b carin. sometimes i got into fights with devon just so tht u culd break it up and take us 2 the hallway.. you would always make us talk about our isue nd thn we had to pray abt it... i always complained about havin to pray... but i actually liked it... i miss prayin wit chu. its the only time i ever prayed. its rlly awsome.. i luv it. i guess u can c tht i miss u round here... nd demi n i still talk about u. we hv a new lady come in teachin us math n shit but she looses her cool everytime a fight beaks out.. she isnt as luving as u r. maybe bc u love jesus to.
u can email me bak but idk wen i can get on the computer again.. im goin to sexton school now.. alot more fghting but u would b proud cuz i try 2 stay away from tht shit now. its not worth my time...jus like u said. com bak to chicago soon miss lauren.. pleaseeeeee... promise i wont b gettn in no fights no more.
Trying to be patient while I get through school so that I can go out and BE the church. This wait is long... Very long.
"And if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness." Isaiah 58:10
